3 Lies You are Told About Self-Sabotage

l have been healing for 10 years. 

I have been helping my client heal from trauma over the last 4 years. 

They always have some form of self-sabotage. 

As did I. 

No matter which stage of healing they were, sabotage was something that my clients dealt with & something that I dealt with along the way. If you want to know which stage of healing you are in, take the quiz, get the results, and receive free resources to further your journey of healing. 

Self-sabotage is something that I struggled with, especially as I was in my later years of healing, especially in my professional life and in business. 

Before I healed, I sabotaged my relationships & friendships. I would push people away. I would hurt them before they have ever had a chance to hurt me. (Luckily, it is not like that today.)

I would sabotage my healthy lifestyle. I say healthy lifestyle because I hope that you know that diets do not work. They only cause more restrictions and more failures in attempting to lose weight. 

When I healed & started my biz...

• I hesitated
• Played small
• Wouldn't take aligned action
• Wouldn't follow thru on my launches
• Would focus on things that really didn't matter
• Forced myself to fit the mold as a coach
• Never spoke up 
• Didn't set boundaries 
• Ran back to my ex so many damn times 

Years later, after a failed biz and leaving a toxic relationship, I realized that my sabotage was the core of repeating cycles, behaviors, and essentially what was holding me back from my dream life. 

Once I let go of sabotage, everything changed. 

After 2 years of healing sabotage and rebuilding my business and helping my clients slay sabotage, there's a lot of bs about it that you must know! After all this healing, I can promise you my self-sabotage wasn't slayed by these 3 lies.

Here are 3 lies you are being sold about self-sabotage. These are exactly why you cannot move past sabotaging your success no matter which stage of healing you are in.

1. Willpower. If you've read James Clear's Atomic Habits, you already know that people develop healthy habits by using the least amount of willpower possible! The less work you can do to create the habit, the better. Your willpower not being strong enough has nothing to do with the reason why you sabotage. 

Willpower over something that feels like an addiction & a wave of uncontrollable energy coming out of your body that has to be fed isn't going to be healed with willpower alone. Just like people who are developing healthy habits, they exercise the least amount of willpower; it will be the same with healing sabotage. 

2. Self-discipline. I've always been the most disciplined person when I was in corporate and when I started my business. I used to wake at 4 a.m. on the dot, wake up and work out, journal, and start working. I still sabotaged my entire business into failure. I think it is time to let go of the idea that the lack of self-discipline is the reason why you cope or repeat unhealthy cycles. If you want to become a badass at self-discipline, check out this free masterclass here. I share mastering self-discipline specifically for women who are survivors of trauma. 

Self-discipline is a beautiful key to your freedom & critical to your biz. It isn't enough to slay Self-sabotage. Self-discipline isn't going to heal that you feel you're undeserving of happiness & success.

3. Mindset. Mindset being everything is the biggest lie you're told in the Online industry in general. (I said what I said). If you've ever done traditional talk therapy, you really only focus on the top-up, which doesn't work for most people.

If your soul focus is Mindset but trauma lives in your body, focusing on your mindset first is like crashing your car into a brick wall over & over & over again. Hoping that you can reframe your way out of sabotage.

Here's why these don't work.

Sabotage is a safety mechanism that's naturally triggered within you when there is a perceived threat.

Like...

• Up-leveling
• Selling your programs at a higher price
• Showing up online bigger badder bolder
• Claiming that you can change people's lives forever
• Stepping into your badass spiritual gifts
• Healthy relationships 
• Speaking up 
• Selling 
• Setting boundaries
• Sending emails 
• Making phone calls 

If these threats are seemingly normal, how is it possible that willpower, Self-discipline, and mindset will shift them?

They're surface-level. They don't tap into one thing that isn't talked about enough when healing.

None of these lies the gurus swear will slay Self-sabotage even consider your nervous system.

You sabotage because you don't feel safe with what you are doing and who you are becoming. So, you do things to prevent your progress or growth. Then, you self-preserve to stay where you are because it's known to you. 

That's why willpower, self-discipline, and mindset are not working for you.

Slaying self-sabotage is done with safety & connection

If you're tired of forcing yourself to willpower your way out of this battle of sabotage.

If you're tired of forcing yourself to do shit you hate cuz that's what Self-discipline seems to be.

If you're tired of crashing your car into a brick wall of reframes, affirmations & overwhelm & overthinking

I invite you to slay Self-sabotage, where safety & connection are the foundational piece of your quantum breakthrough into the next level, and join my hybrid program to deeply integrate self-sabotage.